So recently I have really started to lose motivation to league. I started actually playing ranked in this season and yesterday i achieved my goal and climbed to gold V. I mainly play top and jg. I played 2 games after my promotion to gold V and won 1 and lost 1. Here is little recap from my lost game:
I was playing yorick top vs garen. Garen got first blood from me because I didn't pay enough attention and garen got his level 6 before me in a little skirmish. So completely my bad. all of our lanes were losing and our jungle gragas didn't really visit top side often. (He ganked once in a 25 minute game when garen was showing the wave to my tower almost 70% of the time) I got couple solokills to garen here and there and kept farming. In the end we just lost cause we didn't have a single lanes that would have been winning and enemy just kept pressuring our bot cause our bot could not 2v2 enemy bot.
In the end of the game I was 2/4 ( because of my own mistakes) but what really got into me and made me think about this is when our jungle and mid just blamed me. I was apparently totally useless and didn't do sh*t in teamfights. (I tried to tell them that i was more off a splitpusher but they just kept telling me i was useless. so in their minds i was the reason we lost the game.
After this game I started thinking: when do I know if i deserve a win or not, and when is it purely because of me that we lost. Does anyone have an answer to that? How do you know if you deserve a win and when is it purely my own fault that we lose?
Any feedback is greatly appreciated!