Just a rant. I wouldn't bother reading this. But still..

So there was something I wanted to get off my chest. I am really sad about it, and at the same time, I feel it's a step to the right direction, no matter what that is. Is it a direction of improvement? Maybe not. Probably more of an understanding, of how things are. I started playing at the end of season 5. I remember this season quite well. The reward was one of my favorite Victorious skins. I started playing Sivir as a meme, because I was watching a lot of TV when I was a kid, and her Warrior Princess skin resonated something nostalgic with me. I had discovered something familiar in such a strange new game (I've never played mobas or anything that looked like that). It was also the first skin I ever got. I didn't play Ranked that season. I was so sad about it. I imagined her Victorious pose, as my own personal story in the game. I thought that my favorite character and I, would have similar good endings. I played Ranked next season (by accident tbh, anyway), and I was on the "Sivir's Knights" league. Lol. I know it sounds stupid, but I was kind of.. satisfied about it. When I started playing, I thought I would be very decent at the game. Just like I was in any videogame I really liked. I'm not gonna lie. I really thought that, the only way I wouldn't get to Diamond maybe a couple of years later, would be my unwillingness to commit in playing a lot, and trying really hard. I thought I was destined to be Platinum with some effort, the least. One of the best. Turns out, this is not the case. I am in a very low Elo. And I learned something from the few, but enough Ranked matches I played this season. I am not exceptional. I have to say I am sorry to my teammates, I will not be able to carry them. What I noticed is, it is impossible for me to carry. To really carry. Not just getting a Penta kill once every two years because I was farming and the stars aligned. I just.. cannot be that person who has the most kills on my team. Ever. And it's really worse than that. I will be maybe... one of the last persons. Like, the 6th or 8th on kills. Maybe the last. Even when I play ADC. Or Mid, idk.. I really wish things where different. I wish I could be phenomenal, and be able to shine whenever I was queueing for a match. But it's not how things are. I can confirm, I am not good at this game. I don't know why I am getting so sentimental all of a sudden. But.. League of Legends was -is my latest game I committed so much. I fell in love with E-Sports, Twitch, and the community. Everything seem so magical. I remember my first time I went to a tournament. I wished that I had already achieved a higher Elo, and go and talk to people about the game. And be proud of my achievements. Make them feel, they would talk to someone who really understands. I want to say, thank you Riot. You do seem a little greedy lately, but.. times are changing. I will not judge you for that. But I will say thank you for this community. And I am sorry I will not make you proud. But I will probably keep feeding. {{sticker:slayer-jinx-wink}}
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