So my mother is not well in the head.
Here are some stuff she tells me on a daily basis (2-3 of these things at least, multiple times):
you don't have a brain,
you're a fool, you don't interest me at all,
you stink (this is not true, I smell nice with old spice),
I should have broken off your head on a wooden log,
you are going to do what you are told the moment you are told (literally, even if I have really bad inflammation of my muscles or even when I'm I'll, she expects me to do what she wants instantly, pretty much as if I was a slave),
I am always smarter than you,
oh god with what idiot I am living with,
what have I done to deserve this behavior?,
I was happy when you were born and now I am not,
You are raising my levels of sugar in my blood,
why didn't you do your chores first , you can workout lateeeeeer, (my chores: clean the house, vacuum it, cleaning the floor and cleaning the dust in the entire house, this is expected to be done every day),
you are disgusting and you are nothing,
I should have beaten you more,
I should have dragged you along the floor and made your nose bleed,
f@#! your mother,
I should have beaten you so much that you would have bruises all over your body.
How she behaves:
When someone tells something about her that she should fix, she takes it as an insult and gets mad.
She tells me that I don't want to talk to her and gets mad meanwhile 15 seconds before I was talking for about 10 seconds and she is starring at her phone and completely ignoring me.
She thinks that she is always right no matter what and everybody else is always at fault or else she gets mad.
She thinks she is very intelligent and everyone else is below her level, if not the case she gets mad
Have I told you she gets mad a lot for no reason and blames me for raising her levels of sugar in her blood?
She embarrasses me all the time in public, once she was talking in the bus out loud how I should always use a condom and asked who am I fu#@ing, for about 5-6 minutes while there are people my age in the buss.
Due to this, you simply can't reason with her:
>She thinks that she is always right no matter what and everybody else is always wrong.
>She thinks she is very intelligent and everyone else is below her level.
She behaves kind and generous to other people and treats me like human filth, but not while around them, then she starts showing my accomplishments, pretty much using me to brag about how smart of a son she has.
Some positive stuff about her:
Not a whore, not a gold digger and she won't scam people for money.
On the other hand, she refuses to cook as often (she cooks like once a week) as she used to do every day while my dad was alive (he passed away when I was 14). so I am learning to cook stuff and BBQ.
She still buys me clothes, shoes but second, her first priority is for her to dress well other than that she will only buy me clothes/shoes if I complain about them enough (I start complaining after wearing nikes air max with not air in them for about 5 months, I am very not needy).
She does give me money to eat, but I gotta buy pre-made unhealthy food as I don't know other things to cook besides: boil eggs, make pancakes, make rice pudding, hotdogs, macaroni.
She still kind cares about me but treats me with words like if I am some sort of an abomination.
I am currently 18.
No I can not get a job, it requires me to work 8 hours (i got to school, next year university), they pay like a#@ 150$ a month in my country, some of them do not pay at all the work I do, so the last time I worked while school was out and they paid me a grand total of 40$ first of all I do not have the time to work and second I would not be able to sustain the bills of living alone and feeding myself.
Her behaving like this has been going on for 4 years.
Anyway before those 4 years, I she used physical force instead of words.
So my plan is:
-Game development, I am currently making a mobile game that does not spam ads but has in-app purchases (cosmetics only, no p2w in my book) and I am keeping track that my alpha testers are having fun while playing it which is the most important thing to have while playing (it's to have fun).
I paid 25$ for a google play console account and spent the other 15$ on feeding myself since she forgot to give me money for food and I do not intend on reminding her.
-I am very stable with my emotions unlike my mother, so her words do not affect me, but no mother should say such stuff to their kid.
-How do I deal with her? I just shut up and deal with the insults, avoiding arguments as you can not reason with her or else if I try, I am the devil of all things and I am at fault for raising her levels of sugar in her blood (she has diabetes).
-I will finish that university that has game development in it, as with this high school I can talk with someone how some dude that nobody gives a chum bucket about how he "raped his 14yr wives" or some drama from literature (that I refused to learn and got F's for).
-Live a healthy life, workout, have a good job at game making or have my on company for making games that are not scummy and care what players have to say.
-Once my life is set, I will be ready to introduce new life to this world and treat it as a decent human being.
So hey! If you made it this far thank you for listening, really gotta get this off my chest so that I can think normally, was thinking that today I would be developing my game further but nah, I had to vent it out so that I can think normally and I will probably be chilling out in some league norms and urf.
So anyway Good luck and have fun summoners, don't let anybody get in your way of success or try and crush your hopes and dreams!
Edit: If I made anyone emotional, please for the love of god stop, yes It is a sad way to live to be thrown these insults at all day, but keep in mind there are other kids who are out there on the streets begging for food about how hungry they are and how ill they are, so my life is not that bad compared to theirs, yes it is a shitty way of living but not much as their life and I intend on cleaning the streets by helping those in need from time to time by myself if I get successful enough.
Anyway you will probably never meet and see me and it doesn't affect the way you live, yes I know you understand that it is on ok for he to behave like that and some people out there with abusive parents may see this and have some reference to their life.
You will probably forget this after some short time anyway.
So please leave the bad memories behind and think positive of your future and do something about it to make it more positive.