Yes, you are seeing straight.
No, I wasn't dropped on the head as a baby (as far as I know... tho it would explain so many things... hm... I should ask my parents... whatever, aaanyway).
Yes, this thread is a serious and honest letter of appreciation to the darling people who say shit like "gg ez" .
No! Don't turn back in disgust, just hear me out! Please!
**Disclaimer:** Be nice to you fellow players. Don't be complete assholes.
Dear people who say "gg ez"",
you're Douchebags with a capital D. And annoying (without a capital this time). And should have been smacked more by your parents. Or less. Whatever, the dosage of smacking was off somehow in your upbringing.
And yet, I wholeheartedly appreciate your existence in the virtual ecosystem that is League. Much like leeches, despite your general unpleasantness and gross appearance (this is just a presumption, you may be hot af IRL), you can be used for therapeutic purposes.
You see, I don't often get tilted or angry in this game, but I will not claim that I am immune to it. After an easily preventable loss, or maybe a bad day, I can feel my patience wearing thin. But as a player abiding by the Summoner's Code I try to not let out my anger on my team. I mean, I would very much like to write: "Holy %%%%ing shit, botlane was winning the whole time, don't you think an Infernal would be worth more than the %%%%ing AIDS-infested Gromp?!" or "Jesus, %%%%, pick one: Either start dodging the painfully obvious Tresh hooks or stop talking about how your other account is Diamond!" or, in the worst case scenario: "You inbred illiterate moron, I hope the next time you have sex with your sister you get Syphilis and die!" , but I don't, because what would be the point of wishing horrible diseases on people who may actualy be quite pleasant and not-as-inbred in reality.
Sometimes, I don't even have someone to blame. Maybe everyone is doing their hardest to win, but the enemy is just superior in every way, maybe their Vayne is fed beyond any reasonable measure, maybe my teammates are kinda %%%%ish, but not enough to warrant a report, just somewhat unpleasant. Or hell, maybe I am making a stupid decision after stupid decision, spiralling into a neverending cycle of frustration and even more failure.
Well, you see, when I am a losing a game like this, where we maybe started off strong, but couldn't group and take objectives, or where we just didn't click well as personalities, I sometimes find myself kinda irritated. And while I promise myself that after the match I would look at it with a cool head and try working on my own short-comings, in that moment I am just looking for some catharsis.
And, this is where you, you magical butterflies with no concept of sportsmanlike behaviour, come in. Your mean-spirited little jab gives me the excuse I need to report somebody, *anybody* really. You see, I can't report the Jungler for not knowing how to smite, or the ADC for bad positioning, but I can report *you* for being an asswipe, and I will gladly take that opportunity.
It has gotten to the point where I can't muster any vitriol at the phrase itself, quite the opposite actualy. At the end of a losing match, I dare you to say that "gg ez", I know you want to. You want to stroke your e-peen, you want to kick me while I'm down. So, bring it!
Sure, you may never be punished harsher than a CR, hell, you may never be punished at all. But that slight % chance that someone's trasured account with countless hours and € behind it might be lost forever partially due to owner being a slight %%%% to me is enough.
Does this make me a vindictive %%%% with badly supressed anger issues? **Yes. **
Does this little exchange nonetheless bring me one step farther from an aneurysm and *you* one step towards eating a ban? **Also a yes.**
Am I okay with that exchange? **Oh, most definitely.**
So, in conclusion, you beautiful examples of human scumminess, I thank you for existing, please continue to be just as awful as you were until now.
that asshole laughing at all the "Got banned, no fair" forum posts
P.S. If you're on my team and you say "gg, ez" I'm reporting you too. Just because I get a kick out of reporting assholes doesn't mean other people do. Don't be a douche.
Hm, so writing an overy long forum post is pretty cathartic as well. Yayy!