XanWing (EUW)
: Next time you will make the cut for sure!:D It's the process that is the best bit tbh. Aww thank you, keep writing-- I really enjoy your work!:D
Thanks! =D By the way, probably a bit of a stretch, but would you be interested in adding each other on the client? I saw your post about being in bronze a while back and could relate to it a lot. I'm not the greatest player, but I enjoy the game and don't tilt, am looking to improve, etc., and would definitely be up for custom games sometime. So, yeah, just let me know!
XanWing (EUW)
: Thank you by the way! Sad to see that your's didn't make the cut:(
Aw, thanks! I’m a little disappointed of course, but I enjoyed writing the story and hey, at least I lost to submissions I really enjoyed!
Zaffron (EUW)
: [Fan Fiction Contest] Final 16 Announced: Vote Now for the Winner!
Any plans to release the list of the 49 or so semi-finalists?
XanWing (EUW)
: My curiosity got the best of me, so I went to your profile and saw you'd put out a story and I was like hell yeah I'm gonna check it out!:D
Hey congrats on making the final list!!! You definitely deserved it :)
XanWing (EUW)
: Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate that you took the time to give me feedback! I do agree with the "knowing our time has come" it looks forced even in my eyes so thank you for pointing that out. {{sticker:slayer-jinx-wink}}
Haha, I hadn’t realized you were the person who commented on my story- thanks for taking the time to check out and give feedback on my submission!
XanWing (EUW)
: Wow. Your last line really echos with emotion and leave the reader with a very emotional impression. I enjoyed your imagery especially: "deaden and decay, peeling off in rotted strips." You paint very vividly the decaying of Moakai and the island throughout the story. You make Yorick's agenda known which makes the plot easy to follow and the addition of the spirits who seem very lucrative is well-on creative. Tips: In one part you use the word lonely too frequently, try exchanging some of the lonely's for "alone" or something similar, it gives more variety. Also, it would read easier (as in flow when reading) if the prose is more clunked together (would be clearer to read if it was more block paragraphs ((personally)) xD. All in all, great prose and clear end which is great! {{sticker:sg-kiko}}
Thank you for your thoughtful comment!! It was super useful to hear what worked and what didn’t, and I really appreciate your taking the time to write it all out ^^
: Never One Contest Entry: A Cosmic Visit
Really nice story! I think it was the right choice to not try to aim for realism in regards to the stars and scale and to just ask the reader to suspend their disbelief instead, but man was that a difficult story to try to see in my mind's eye! {{sticker:sg-zephyr}}
Rioter Comments
XanWing (EUW)
: Never One Contest Entry: Parallelism
Really really lovely! I love the "you're no flower which turns to the sun" line best. So simple yet so effective. I almost wish you hadn't added the "knowing our time has come" line. While I realize it informs the reader that there's a conflict, a bigger story, etc., up to that point the poem had seemed to be a description of a snapshot, of sorts- of a perfect moment- and the last line sort of breaks that illusion. If that was what you wanted, then good job! Just the mindset and thinking you gave Leona was so beautiful I wanted to stay with it longer :p (Also, the "wicked lips" line is a really good way of indicating that they're in conflict without having to break the illusion of the perfect moment.) I've done a poor job of explaining myself but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say. Nice job!
Rioter Comments

solitaryplace

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